One More Goodbye

Well more accurately "ciao for now". A wandering philosopher's job is never done. I'll be on the road on another adventure for the summer. I'm planning to have my sister take over while I'm gone. I haven't heard back from her however, so we'll see.

While I'm writing I thought I would share this. In my post "I knew I liked Nietzsche For A Reason!" I expressed that I agree with him when he said, "I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more to be than a good dancer." What I want to add to this is that a philosopher might also want to be a good singer. I say that because I was listening to "Texas In My Rear View Mirror" by Mac Davis. Something about this song speaks to me. I realized how I would like to sing well enough to express what I've learned in song. Maybe also play a musical instrument or two. A lot of my extended family on my mother's side can including my late grandfather and one of my uncles. Mind you my mother and sister can sing. My sister used to sing in a band for a while. If she does take over my blog for the summer you can ask her about it. My brother used to play keyboards but he didn't keep it up as far as I know. Both my little sister and I dabbled in guitar but never kept it up. I let it go for my other artistic pursuits and my little sister just gave up. Musical ability would be cool to have though. I should get back into it. I'm a romantic so I would be nice to be able to serenade pleasantly. Right now all I have are love poems and sincere affection;)

So ciao for now and have a good summer^_^

A Simple Guide To Inner Peace

I've been talking about inner peace so I might as well share the steps I took to get there.

1. Ask questions (no matter how lame). In asking questions you learn. In learning you expand your understanding.

2. Face your fears and all of your other emotions. In facing your emotions you get to know yourself and what drives you. Emotions are your motivators. Ignorance of them is what causes a lack of inner peace in the first place.

3. Learn sciences. I don't mean go to school for it but learn about the world from an unemotional perspective. Watch documentaries, read books, attend lectures, whatever. Science is the closest thing we have to that.

4. Learn about the different religions. Of course not just the ones where they worship God. There's a wealth of them out there. I said "learn", don't' read that to mean "convert". Study a variety of religions and you will learn something about human spirituality that no one religion can teach you.

5. Travel. This is optional. Mass media (including the Internet) offers an access of sorts to the world but for me nothing beats first hand experience. It's also good to move around because in your quest for inner peace you will find you get on people's nerves very quickly. Also it exposes you to different people and things.

6. Study art (I mean all it's versions). I cannot stress this enough. Artists are full of all kinds of observations and passions that can open the mind. Even the "bad" ones.

You may notice the guide is simple enough. There are only six steps. Unfortunately it's the following of these several steps that can get very complicated;) Some people may turn on you. You may find yourself miserable for awhile. Shy of damaging your brain you can't unlearn what you will learn.

The most notable thing to keep in mind is that attaining inner peace isn't about no longer having struggles or pain, it's about being able to embrace them. On the plus side your happy times are that much better because you know how to appreciate them for themselves and how to keep them alive in yourself through the hard:)

Good luck with it:)

See What Can Happen

So last night I go and have a reverse nightmare. I call it that because in a nightmare the fear you experience eventually comes to a point where you are so overstimulated you wake up and in the case of a nightmare you just sit there shaking until the fear goes away and glad that it was only a dream. In the case of a reverse nightmare you experience so much happiness that eventually you become over stimulated and you wake up but with a good feeling but are sad to realize it was just a dream and now it's over.

I was going to exclude dreams like seeing a dead loved one or some other kind of wish fulfillment dream but I decided not to. I gave it some thought and realized that the only reason I was going to exclude them was because my reverse nightmare came from an "innocent" and "harmonious" place and not some deep unfulfilled longing. The last of my personal demons went with my saying my goodbye in my last post and with wrapping up an "adventure" I was having with someone I basically only know through e-mail (I know what she looks like and I've read some of the things she's written which is why I e-mailed her in the first place.) Saying goodbye to my little "alter ego" was the end of the adventure. My fellow adventurer's courageous and open personality inspired me to finally be rid of my remaining personal demons.

In the reverse nightmare I was vacationing in the city where she lives and I happen to cross paths with her at some unknown place so I decided I was going to approach her and say hello. I figured she shouldn't recognize me but I do it anyway. To my surprise she sees me approach and says hello first. I'm surprised because like I said I didn't think she would recognize me. When I ask she explains she recognizes me from the picture in my profile and was looking forward to one day meeting me in person. All of this makes me very happy. She finishes her explanation by coming to give me a hug. That's when I wake up. I feel a bit ripped off. I would have liked to have had the hug even if it was only in a dream. I would have felt more ripped off but I was so excited about having such a happy dream in the first place. Normally when I have happy dreams there has always been at least some expectation of disaster which often took place because that would be where my frame of mind would take the dream. However in this case it was just purely a peaceful happiness.

So I titled this "See What can Happen" because up until that dream I've never had enough happiness within myself to enjoy things as they come without ruining it with feeling ripped off when the happiness went away. Now I have the gift of happiness. If you put effort into something important to you, you will be rewarded sometimes in unexpected ways.

Keep in mind I'm easily pleased;)

Join Me In A Goodbye

So here is the picture I spoke about in the previous post. This is the quintessential image of me or was until now. So this post is my invitation to anyone who wants to join me in bidding farewell to this little guy.

I'll start with a few words about him. He was a rotten little guy who emotionally vampirized anyone who showed him an ounce of love. Mind you what else was he going to do. He was the target of so much anger and fear but when all was said and done I don't know anyone who could have raised him properly. He was stubborn, passionate, perceptive, focused and full of questions no parent could have or would have been prepared for. Everything was sacred to him so you couldn't help but trample on the things he held dear. He loved everyone so how could you know you were overwhelming him when you didn't give him his space. It didn't take a village to raise this child. It took a whole world. No parent stood a chance.

What I like about him is that in all of the things he's done, he has inspired a lot of love even if he didn't see it himself. What I also like is that inspite of his rotten behaviour others have benefited. He was lucky in that no matter what he did there was always the opportunity for him and others to learn. I am always amazed by the stories from people who have told me how much they've learned from this little guy's antics. Even in his darkest days he brought light.

Now I'd like to thank everyone who helped me get to this day no matter how small the contribution may have seemed. I especially want to thank those who have had the power to inspire me to go past my stubborn and single minded focus and do the things I never would have believed useful or that I was too scared to do or more impressively make me go beyond my self-pity and do what needed to be done.

Now that this excercise in self-centeredness is done I want to explain that I've have come to a point in my life where I want all these things behind me. I no longer want my life to revolve around the fact that it started off unfortunately. I want to take my inner peace and press on into a promissing future:)

So thanks for reading and I invite comments good and bad about this post. I'm curious about what people think about this kind of thing.

A Time To Enjoy The Blues

I was sitting there thinking another great and wonderful person has slipped from my life. I don't know this for certain. It hasn't really been that long since the last time we've written and that person has a busy and exciting life as far as I know. Of course I've probably also "shared too much" yet again in my last e-mail so I thought, "If another one is going I'll get a jump on feeling down so that it will pass that much quicker and I can move on to enjoying the memories." I figured I'd put on an all blues station and have a few beers and enjoy the sadness of it.

Then I thought, "Hey why not blog about it?" I was going to use a professionally done portrait of myself at two years old to show how I felt. I thought I had it on my computer but I don't so I'm going to have to get it off my uncle. I look like I'm pleading to be rescued. I looked at it in one of my photo albums and I thought, "You think sitting for a portrait sucks just wait a few years when the campaign to 'ungay' you starts because your mother thinks you're too sensitive." The ironic thing about the ungaying is that it was a long time before I could have a healthy relationship with a woman leaving some people to believe that I was gay.

That made me think for a bit. I still have a few "buttons" to work out of my system. I still wonder if who I am is acceptable to other people. When you grow up being told you're great and we love you but don't be yourself around other people you start to ask yourself that question. I'm glad I've had a hard time sticking to that advice. My best life adventures happened because I can't be "normal"^_^

So I feel better now but I would have liked to have drank some beer (of course nothing is stopping from doing that.) I still wonder if I didn't share too much but I will live and go on to have more adventures;)

Roofing

This is my cousin. Yesterday we (this also includes my uncle who took this picture) were working on the roof pictured here (the picture is from a couple of years ago.) We were watching two storm fronts collide and the clouds were turning on themselves. We speculated that a tornado might form but then we let it drop and kept working trying to get done what we could before it rained. Then the wind picked up and almost blew my cousin off. I saw the wind take his hat and that it was now going to take him too so I snatched him and dragged him to the window that you can see in the picture. We put down a tarp and then took a break. It was much too windy to be on a roof. The wind passed and we finished the job. We found out this morning that a small funnel cloud had touched down a few miles away.








These four pictures are of the roof of my sister's cottage which used to belong to my grandparents. The roof is in desperate need of new shingles. I included these pictures because I wanted to give you an idea of the size of the roof and the work involved. We need to work on the other side this time. I'm desperately hoping to be unavailable but we'll probably do it the May "Two-Four" Weekend for which I'll be around for. It's a very big roof(24'x56' each side I think) and the angle we're working at is not good for the back plus the other side is not level so I don't think we'll be able to have scaffolding which would really help when hoisting up the shingles.


I'm adding this picture because you don't actually see me working in the other pictures. Here I'm the one doing the nailing.


I'm adding this one because I feel I look like an Ewok and that amuses me. I'm the one with the knee pads in case you don't know.


I call this one "Roofing at Noon". I wanted to give a rooftop perspective for those of you who have never been on a roof before.

I did this posting because I wanted to share how much I enjoy this perspective of the world. Firstly because it's always good to have an appreciation for the part of your house that keeps you warm and dry. Secondly because the world looks different from above. I'm afraid of heights so aside from some rock climbing this is my bird's eye view of the world. Plus you're not so removed from the people on the ground that you can't "share" what you see from your angle.

Something About Redemption

Today was a day of enlightening conversations. I will post about some of what was said later on for now however I wanted to talk about something I was reminded about redemption.

I was working as an I.T. officer (read as: if it's vaguely computer related I dealt with it) in a social service agency. One day at lunch one of those rare lunches where just about everyone was present the director of the therapists came in saying that one of their clients in the domestic violence program had lost his temper and spit on his wive. Since that's an assault the procedure should be to report it and send him to jail for his breach of probation.

Now the big complaint around the agency was that the men in the domestic violence have a tendency to reoffend. This made my wheels turn so I asked, “What would he have normally done to her when he losses it?”

“He would beat her,” one of the therapists in the program answered.

“So this is an improvement then?” I asked. The eye daggers where brandished so I added, “I know it's insulting and demeaning but he didn't beat her this time.” The glares softened so I continued. “The purpose behind the domestic violence program is to reduce spousal abuse right? Well he didn't hit her this time so he must be learning something from you.” The hostile stares disappeared so I was emboldened. “You know the guy's not a saint but you've taken it upon yourself to try and redeem him anyway. Given the short length of the program, he's shown remarkable improvement as I understand it.” There were some nods of agreement. “If you send him to jail now you're telling this guy that it doesn't matter that he's improving and making an effort. When he goes to jail and he talks about why he's there he's going to say how no one is interested in redeeming him despite his efforts. They just wanted to punish him for a 'little slip'.” That was another major complaint that was going around. A number of the former clients of the program where saying that it was lame and ineffectual to other “future clients”. Now there were many thoughtful looks in the room so I finished with, “He breached his probation so do what you want with him. I think he should get what he deserves for beating his wife but then I'm not the one who is trying to redeem him.”

The therapists involved went and had a meeting after that. I don't remember what they decided. I was just glad to not have lost my job for having overstepped my boundaries. I didn't make the comment to help the guy out. He beat his wife he should get what he deserves. I have little tolerance for people who hurt those they're supposed to love. But I thought if she's keeping him in her life then for her sake it would better if they finished his therapy instead of sending him to jail and making him an angrier person who will be that much harder to reach the next time.

It made me think about redemption. You know going in the person you're redeeming isn't a saint. If they were they wouldn't need redeeming. You know they're going to slip at some point. They have to get from where they are to where you want them to be. That means they don't yet possesses the means to act as you would want them to. Therefore if you're serious about it you need to have a big capacity for forgiveness. It doesn't mean that they shouldn't be punished for their misdeeds but you have to be careful to pick and choose when you punish and when you let something slide. Redemption is a difficult thing but it can be worth it.

A Little Bit About Dreams

Permit me to describe a dream for you that I had when I was six years old.

It is winter and my mother has sent my older sister and me outside to play. We are in the garage my sister is scolding me for some reason while she is looking for something. I think it is a shovel so we can dig tunnels in the snow. I am not really listening. I have zoned out and am studying the details around me as though somehow compelled to do so. Eventually the compulsion has me looking out the open garage door at the falling snow noting the pattern of its descent.

Then I wake up and get ready for the day. It is winter and my mother sends my older sister and me outside to play. We go into the garage. My sister scolds me for some reason while she is looking for something. I think it is a shovel so we can dig tunnels in the snow. I am not really listening. I have zoned out and am studying the details around me as though somehow compelled to do so. Eventually the compulsion has me looking out the open garage door at the falling snow noting the pattern of its descent. Then I realize that was what I had dreamed.

This dream and the events of the next day have led me to study dreams. As you might suspect I started off by researching dreams as a metaphysical phenomenon. I watched documentaries about dreams and their relationships to astral projection and precognition. Then I started to read dream dictionaries which lead to books that spoke of Carl Jung's concept of the collective unconscious then books about what happens when you dream (rem sleep and sleep walking) then finally books on why we dream. All the while doing experiments to learn to increase my ability to remember my dreams as well as manipulate them in that ever prized lucid dream state.

Here's what I have learned. Dreams are our purest form of thinking. Generally (no process in nature is perfect) undisturbed by external stimulus. What I mean by that is when we are awake and conscious of the outside world we are distracted from what we see in our minds eye or ear or finger or tongue or nose whatever sensory stimulation and center you want. I give as an example something that stands out for me. I'm afraid of heights. For example I still do roofing as required. I just get down once I can no longer take it. While on there I am constantly picturing myself falling over the side and dropping to my death but I am steadied by the fact that I'm not because I am still on the roof and can confirm it by seeing the roof or feeling it beneath my feet and hands. If I were dreaming about falling off the roof I would have nothing to confirm I was safe in bed.

I came to this conclusion by the methods I used to learn how to dream lucidly. I started off by working on increasing my ability to remember dreams. I never kept a dream journal. What I did instead was retell myself the dreams I had when I woke up. This way I would integrate them into my waking thoughts and memory. Once I remembered my dreams I became more familiar with what it felt like to be dreaming. From there when I went to bed I would imagine to the smallest detail I could imagine what I wanted to dream about. After awhile I could influence what I was going to dream about. A little after that I could dream lucidly. The point being the more I trained myself to think and remember in more detail the better I became at dreaming. Not to mention the impressive visualization skills I've picked up. I don't even necessarily dream with visual components anymore. Now my mind just conveys the necessary information without much fanfare.

As far as interpreting dreams goes, I spent a lot time going through dream dictionaries and psychology books and I've learned something important. Symbolism in dreams is very personal and not everything in dreams are overtly symbolic. I had a dream where I was using a mostly empty bag of brown sugar in a weapon Kata (the Japanese word for a martial arts form). I was told dreaming about sugar was a sign that I will soon come into money. I found that dubious given the nature of my life. What later dawned on me was that's what I do with mostly empty bags of brown sugar. I pretend to do a weapon Kata with them (yes I'm weird.) It wasn't in my dream as foretelling future fortune it was just an element in my dream drawn from something I do while awake. In the dream I was showing off for a woman and that's what I was doing to show off. It was a dream. It was more impressive than it sounds.

I no longer bother to lucid dream anymore. I came to the conclusion that my mind has things to tell me so I might as well listen instead of obscuring it with my need to escape reality. Mind you it was fun while it lasted but in the end the control in a lucid dream is only make believe so I decided to concentrate on working with real life.

Since I started off describing a dream that seemed to predict the future I wanted to touch on dreams and the metaphysical. I don't think dreams in and of themselves are inherently metaphysical but as I said they are our purest form of thinking undisturbed by external stimulus. So if you are getting information from a metaphysical source then dreams would be the ideal place to process it. I would imagine just like thinking, metaphysically acquired information would be less obfuscated by physical stimulus in a dream.

Portrait

I wasn't going to post anything until I finished the post on dreams I'm working on but I liked the result I got.

Who Should Paint You: Salvador Dali

You're a complex, intense creature who displays many layers. There's no way a traditional portrait could ever capture you!

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

I've never given consideration to getting a portrait done but I think it would be cool to have it done by Dali. Just the art geek in me:)

ARRRGHHHH!!!!!!... Revisited

I am revisiting this post because I don't feel right about it. Also I got a second opinion and as I suspected I was told it is good to express anger but I shouldn't have left out so much information as to why I was angry and what it was exactly that set me off. So I'm going to endeavor to do that.

It's all about having “buttons” that can be pushed. Those niggling psychological remnants of a “not so pleasant” upbringing that are still attached to the survival instincts. I thought I had almost all of mine dealt with and gone so just when I relaxed my guard... push... and I'm off and ready to rant.

Now the easy part. I will direct you to the two blog postings that directly set me off. First check out “Male nipples and round ligaments of the uterus”. If you don't feel like it I will post the relevant bits here but check out "Anatomy Notes" just for yourself it's very interesting.

At 4/22/2006 10:14 PM, Urban Shaman said...

“Firstly love your blog. Secondly I was watching a documentry that said that essentially we default to female as a species. When the hormone cocktale that creates males fails to take, these would be males become infertile females with the Y chromosone. So I guess we have nipples so we could revert to females at the last minute even if an infertile one. Does that work for you?”

At 4/23/2006 10:13 PM, Brad said...

“Sounds like you're talking about androgen insensitivity syndrome, a genetic condition in which a genetically male fetus doesn't respond to the male hormones that it produces during development, and therefore ends up developing as a female, at least externally. Internally, these intersex individuals don't have fallopian tubes or a uterus; the vagina ends in a blind pouch.

Do men have nipples so that people with androgen sensitivity syndrome can look more like normal females? I doubt it, but I'm not sure how you'd go about proving it one way or the other....”

I interpreted “I doubt it, but I'm not sure how you'd go about proving it one way or the other....” to mean “Don't be a stupid idiot!” Given the spelling mistakes and the way I phrased it I wouldn't have been surprised if that had been the correct interpretation. You will see why I reacted that way later on in this post.

Now check out "The Gospel of Judas". Despite what I write next check out "Critical Vision" It is also a good blog.

I'm not sure what to say about what set me off on this one. The whole tone just seems regurgitated from the works of others who seem to like to “play” at intelligence. It's hard to define what I mean by that. For me this posting is the intellectual equivalent of saying, “All black people have rhythm,” or “Men are intelligent while women are cunning.” These things aren't true but they seem to have been commonly held beliefs. I feel the author's expressions in this post suffer from that same weakness in logic.

I am unsatisfied by this but I don't know where else to go with it without writing an essay. Perhaps I will take up essay writing in the future. Hmm. Sounds like a real plan.

Now for the hard part. Aside from a few elements from my past still linked to my survival instincts I have put the past behind me or more accurately, “I have learned what it had to teach me and I'm moving on.” I'm not lying about the inner peace thing.

I will say this. Have you ever had a good friend's mother take you aside and seriously ask you if you engage in sex with animals? I have. Still want to read on? I'll tell you now, the answer is no. I don't have sex with animals. That question came a year after I had just finished peeing behind a snow bank and a small dog ran past me as I walked around the snow bank adjusting my zipper. One of my friends asked jokingly, “Were you having sex with that dog?” I sarcastically answered, “Yes and I own an inflatable poodle that I keep under my bed.” I can only imagine what people were saying that year when I wasn't around.

I mention that to illustrate that even the people who know me best think of me as so unpredictable that they feel they can't predict my behavior no matter how preposterous the act might be.

Having written that, I think to myself, “If that doesn't illustrate how people have grossly misread my intentions and cast dispersions on me in the past I'm not sure what would.” Just imagine, if someone who has my best interest at heart can feel the need to ask that question of me, imagine what people who don't have my best interest at heart have done. Worst the woman who asked me that question was opened minded and free thinking and believed in asking questions before passing judgment. So imagine how my not so open minded, “shoot first” ask questions later parents have reacted to me? Think about it. I'll given you a hint: I didn't have a very pleasant childhood.

Anyway. I think that will be all I say on the subject and I promise in the future that when I spout off about things I don't like I will diligently note it and explain clearly the issue I take with it or I won't bother to blog about it at all.

Once again thanks for reading.

So I was bored

You Are 62% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care. Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

How Evil Are You?

That's me almost two-thirds evil>:-)

You are a Self-Discoverer

You're not religious, but you've created your own kind of spirituality. Introspective and thoughtful, you tend to look inward for the divine. You are distrusting of all forms of organized religion. You especially dislike religious gurus and leaders, who you feel are charlatans.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

I don't feel ALL religious gurus and leaders are charlatans.

Your Values Profile

Loyalty: You don't really value loyalty. In your opinion, friendship should be earned. If you don't agree with someone, it doesn't matter how close you are. You'll let them (and everyone else know) exactly what you think. Honesty: You value honesty a fair amount. You're honest when you can be, but you aren't a stickler for it. If a little white lie will make a situation more comfortable, you'll go for it. In the end, you mostly care about "situational integrity." Generosity: You value generosity a fair amount. You are all about giving, as long as there's some give and take. Supportive and kind, you don't mind helping out a friend in need. But you know when you've given too much. You have no problem saying "no"! Humility: You value humility highly. You have the self-confidence to be happy with who you are. And you don't need to seek praise to make yourself feel better. You're very modest, and you're keep the drama factor low. Tolerance: You value tolerance highly. Not only do you enjoy the company of those very different from you... You do all that you can to seek it out interesting and unique friends. You think there are many truths in life, and you're open to many of them.

The Five Factor Values Test

You Are Japanese Food

Strange yet delicious. Contrary to popular belief, you're not always eaten raw.

What Kind of Food Are You?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your True Love Is a Gemini

Why you'll love a Gemini: Witty and sharp, a Gemini can keep up with your fast (and ever changing) mind. You're both fun loving and free spirits. You and a Gemini can enjoy each other without expectations. Why a Gemini will love you: Not only can you keep up with a Gemini's sharp tongue, you can introduce a challenge or two... You're appetite for fun and novelty will keep a Gemini interested - at least for a bit longer than usual!

What Sign Is Your True Love?

You Were a Swan

You are a spiritual soul who sees into the future. You are also good at interpreting dreams - those of yourself and others.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

Given that I am currently working on a post about dreams this is pretty creepy.

Your Heart Is Green

Love completes you, but that doesn't mean you seek it out. When love comes your way, you integrate it peacefully into the rest of you life. Your flirting style: Laid back Your lucky first date: Walking around aimlessly and talking Your dream lover: Is both enthusiastic and calm What you bring to relationships: Balance

What Color Heart Do You Have?

Your Quirk Factor: 62%

You're so quirky, it's hard for you to tell the difference between quirky and normal. No doubt about it, there's little about you that's "normal" or "average."

How Quirky Are You?

Your 2005 Song Is

Feel Good Inc by Gorillaz "Love forever love is free. Let's turn forever you and me." In 2005, you were loving life and feeling no pain.

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

You Are a Natural Flirt

Believe it or not, you're a really effective flirt. And you're so good, you hardly notice that you're flirting. Your attitude and confidence make you a natural flirt. And the fact that you don't know it is just that more attractive!

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

What can I say;) Although it is true, I do it without realizing it.

You Are Guinness

You know beer well, and you'll only drink the best beers in the world. Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them. When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all - especially about subjects you don't know well. But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around.

What's Your Beer Personality?

Popular Kid

In high school, everyone knew your name - even if you didn't know theirs. In fact, your still skating by on your looks and charm. Nothing wrong with that!

Who Were You In High School?

Well I agree that everyone knew my name even if I didn't know theirs.

You Are Super Spicy

You're a little bit crazy, a little bit naughty, and a whole lot of sexy. You go beyond hot - you set people's senses on fire!

Are You Hot?

Yeah that's me "Beyond Hot". As I'm sure is evident by the picture of myself I posted;)

Your Inner Blood Type is AB!

Your personality is hard to define - you're very unconventional. And even if your personality could be defined, it would be completely different next week! Outgoing and shy, sensitive and thoughtless, you tend to have a very split personality. This makes you unpredictable. You can be a total angel - and a total devil. You are most compatible with: everyone! Famous Type AB's: Jackie Chan and Marilyn Monroe

What's Your Inner Blood Type?

Is this a nice way of saying I'm thouroughly messed up?

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child. Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded. You cherish all of the details in life. Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

How Is Your Inner Child?

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent. Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art. You would make an excellent: Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

My eyes are brown. Tender Heart what am I? A Care Bear?

Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC

"Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long, I'm glad to be back" Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos. But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!

What's Your Theme Song?

Yes I'm let loose from the noose, that's kept me hangin' about;)