Something About Redemption
Today was a day of enlightening conversations. I will post about some of what was said later on for now however I wanted to talk about something I was reminded about redemption.
I was working as an I.T. officer (read as: if it's vaguely computer related I dealt with it) in a social service agency. One day at lunch one of those rare lunches where just about everyone was present the director of the therapists came in saying that one of their clients in the domestic violence program had lost his temper and spit on his wive. Since that's an assault the procedure should be to report it and send him to jail for his breach of probation.
Now the big complaint around the agency was that the men in the domestic violence have a tendency to reoffend. This made my wheels turn so I asked, “What would he have normally done to her when he losses it?”
“He would beat her,” one of the therapists in the program answered.
“So this is an improvement then?” I asked. The eye daggers where brandished so I added, “I know it's insulting and demeaning but he didn't beat her this time.” The glares softened so I continued. “The purpose behind the domestic violence program is to reduce spousal abuse right? Well he didn't hit her this time so he must be learning something from you.” The hostile stares disappeared so I was emboldened. “You know the guy's not a saint but you've taken it upon yourself to try and redeem him anyway. Given the short length of the program, he's shown remarkable improvement as I understand it.” There were some nods of agreement. “If you send him to jail now you're telling this guy that it doesn't matter that he's improving and making an effort. When he goes to jail and he talks about why he's there he's going to say how no one is interested in redeeming him despite his efforts. They just wanted to punish him for a 'little slip'.” That was another major complaint that was going around. A number of the former clients of the program where saying that it was lame and ineffectual to other “future clients”. Now there were many thoughtful looks in the room so I finished with, “He breached his probation so do what you want with him. I think he should get what he deserves for beating his wife but then I'm not the one who is trying to redeem him.”
The therapists involved went and had a meeting after that. I don't remember what they decided. I was just glad to not have lost my job for having overstepped my boundaries. I didn't make the comment to help the guy out. He beat his wife he should get what he deserves. I have little tolerance for people who hurt those they're supposed to love. But I thought if she's keeping him in her life then for her sake it would better if they finished his therapy instead of sending him to jail and making him an angrier person who will be that much harder to reach the next time.
It made me think about redemption. You know going in the person you're redeeming isn't a saint. If they were they wouldn't need redeeming. You know they're going to slip at some point. They have to get from where they are to where you want them to be. That means they don't yet possesses the means to act as you would want them to. Therefore if you're serious about it you need to have a big capacity for forgiveness. It doesn't mean that they shouldn't be punished for their misdeeds but you have to be careful to pick and choose when you punish and when you let something slide. Redemption is a difficult thing but it can be worth it.
I was working as an I.T. officer (read as: if it's vaguely computer related I dealt with it) in a social service agency. One day at lunch one of those rare lunches where just about everyone was present the director of the therapists came in saying that one of their clients in the domestic violence program had lost his temper and spit on his wive. Since that's an assault the procedure should be to report it and send him to jail for his breach of probation.
Now the big complaint around the agency was that the men in the domestic violence have a tendency to reoffend. This made my wheels turn so I asked, “What would he have normally done to her when he losses it?”
“He would beat her,” one of the therapists in the program answered.
“So this is an improvement then?” I asked. The eye daggers where brandished so I added, “I know it's insulting and demeaning but he didn't beat her this time.” The glares softened so I continued. “The purpose behind the domestic violence program is to reduce spousal abuse right? Well he didn't hit her this time so he must be learning something from you.” The hostile stares disappeared so I was emboldened. “You know the guy's not a saint but you've taken it upon yourself to try and redeem him anyway. Given the short length of the program, he's shown remarkable improvement as I understand it.” There were some nods of agreement. “If you send him to jail now you're telling this guy that it doesn't matter that he's improving and making an effort. When he goes to jail and he talks about why he's there he's going to say how no one is interested in redeeming him despite his efforts. They just wanted to punish him for a 'little slip'.” That was another major complaint that was going around. A number of the former clients of the program where saying that it was lame and ineffectual to other “future clients”. Now there were many thoughtful looks in the room so I finished with, “He breached his probation so do what you want with him. I think he should get what he deserves for beating his wife but then I'm not the one who is trying to redeem him.”
The therapists involved went and had a meeting after that. I don't remember what they decided. I was just glad to not have lost my job for having overstepped my boundaries. I didn't make the comment to help the guy out. He beat his wife he should get what he deserves. I have little tolerance for people who hurt those they're supposed to love. But I thought if she's keeping him in her life then for her sake it would better if they finished his therapy instead of sending him to jail and making him an angrier person who will be that much harder to reach the next time.
It made me think about redemption. You know going in the person you're redeeming isn't a saint. If they were they wouldn't need redeeming. You know they're going to slip at some point. They have to get from where they are to where you want them to be. That means they don't yet possesses the means to act as you would want them to. Therefore if you're serious about it you need to have a big capacity for forgiveness. It doesn't mean that they shouldn't be punished for their misdeeds but you have to be careful to pick and choose when you punish and when you let something slide. Redemption is a difficult thing but it can be worth it.
posted by Urban Shaman at 9:09 PM
1 Comments:
Thank you for the high praise^_^
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